Rarely, do I chat with another about my financial insecurity; my FEAR ball stuff.
My friends, family members, and I are pretty tight lipped regarding the old pocketbook.
What is money for? Of course, for optimum survival — food and home, movement, the needs and wants. Who doesn’t love the impulsive buy? Lately, my eye is on a purple skull t-shirt that seriously enhances my cleavage. I digress; more on that later.
Actually, what is the truth about my wallet today? Well, I have eaten more than my share, woke up dry even though it was raining outside, and earned some flow. I can even ponder an extravagant birthday gift for my soon to be 40 year old son. Did I just admit I have a 40 year old son?
Okay, let’s look at my behavior. Sometimes, grandiose; “it’s on me folks”. Other times, cheesy cheap; a trait my mother finds abhorrent. After a few tight squeezes, I have no credit card debt. Even though I don’t buy lottery tickets; I pay careful attention to family’s winnings. I figure they will share or leave town quickly. You know how it is in an Irish family.
Back to this idea of fear. Guess what? I’m not out of my mind, I’m IN my mind. “Not a good neighborhood,” as the saying goes. The old “What if?”
And then further south. “Oh my God, no one is going to come to my yoga classes.” “What if I break both legs climbing this mountain?” “If I get bonked by a coconut, I will be stupid.” “I’m sure this pain in my side is a tumor.” Impending doom, nobody needs to tell me what that means.
FEAR of being inept. “I am enough, I have enough. I am grateful.” Mantras.
For me, an act of faith and trust is required to not hold on too tightly, to be generous when moved, to share my goodies and know I will be supported with love and MONEY.
May we be free from fear.
Energy moves in many forms.